How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs and Step Into Your Power
April 23, 2025
Have you ever felt like you’re standing in your own way? Like every time you get close to something meaningful, something that could truly change your life, you pull back, procrastinate, overthink, or convince yourself that you’re not ready.
If so, you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. You’re simply human.
Many women who feel lost, stuck, or unfulfilled carry an unspoken battle inside: the struggle with self-sabotage. And here’s the truth: if you’ve been sabotaging your progress, it’s not because you lack motivation, talent, or purpose. It’s likely because there’s a part of you that’s afraid of what stepping into your purpose will require.
But you’re here. You’re reading this. That means something in you is ready for more, ready to break free from the patterns keeping you stuck and finally say yes to the life you were meant to live.
So, let’s explore what self-sabotage really is, why we do it, and, most importantly, how to stop.
Self-sabotage is when your thoughts, beliefs, or behaviors actively work against your best interests, especially when you’re trying to grow or move forward.
It might show up as:
It can be frustrating because, deep down, you know you were made for more. You feel the pull of your purpose, the whisper that you’re meant to do something meaningful. Yet something keeps holding you back.
That “something” is what we’re here to unpack with compassion and truth.
Here’s the thing: self-sabotage isn’t a character flaw. It’s a protective mechanism. We self-sabotage because some part of us believes it’s safer to stay where we are than to risk the unknown.
Here are some common root causes of self-sabotage:
“What if I try and it doesn’t work?”
But also, “What if it does work, and I can’t handle it?”
Success requires us to stretch, to be seen, and to hold new levels of responsibility. And that can feel terrifying.
I remember a time when someone suggested I write a guest post for a popular online magazine. They said it could help boost my visibility and might even lead to opportunities, such as being invited on talk shows.
And I spiraled.
Me? On a talk show? I thought. What would I even say? What if I made a mistake? What if I froze or embarrassed myself?
Up until that moment, I didn’t realize you could actually fear success. But there I was, scared by the thought of it. Not because I didn’t want to be successful but because, deep down, I wasn’t sure I could handle what came with the spotlight.
But then I made a decision:
That no matter what happens, I owe it to myself to create the life I dream of. Even if I’m scared, even if I’m shaking, even if I might mess up, I will do it anyway because I am worthy of what I desire.
Another root cause of self-sabotage is the belief that you’re not “qualified,” “ready,” or “good enough.” This belief causes you to play small, even though you’re yearning for more.
Many of us absorbed messages growing up that taught us to dim our light, stay quiet, or seek approval before staying true to ourselves.
Those beliefs don’t just disappear; they have to be unlearned. This takes time, healing, and letting go of so many of the stories about ourselves that we accepted.
→ Related Content: How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs
Even if the familiar is painful, it can feel safe. The brain craves predictability, so when you move toward something new, even something good, it can trigger fear. That’s why we often stay in situations that no longer serve us.
I know this firsthand.
For a long time, I stayed in a job that was far from fulfilling. The environment was toxic, and over time, I felt myself shrinking, becoming someone I no longer recognized. Sundays became heavy with anxiety, just thinking about Monday. I dreaded going in, but I stayed because I told myself I needed the steady paycheck. I convinced myself that a 9–5 was the most secure option.
But deep down, I longed for something else, something that felt purposeful. Something that would allow me to make a real, meaningful impact in the lives of others.
One day, it got so bad that I just couldn’t do it anymore. I handed in my resignation without even giving the full two weeks’ notice. I needed to get out. I needed to breathe.
With some savings in the bank and a heart full of hope, I began the journey of creating a life that felt aligned with who I truly am.
Was it easy? No. There were challenges, moments of doubt, and days when fear tried to creep back in. But even on the hardest days, it still felt right. It felt like freedom. Because I was growing, I was learning, and I was building something beautiful and meaningful.
Had I stayed in the familiar, I would have missed this version of myself. I would have missed the possibility, the fulfillment, and the lives I’ve had the honor of touching.
So far, we’ve touched on what self-sabotage is and its root causes, but the signs of self-sabotage may not be immediately obvious. Here are some common signs to watch for.
If any of these resonate with you, know that you’re not alone. I have also struggled with some of these issues, but over time, I have made significant progress. So, I would like to share a few tips that helped me stop self-sabotaging my dreams and start living with purpose.
Stopping self-sabotage isn’t about fixing yourself; it’s about changing your perspective. It’s about choosing courage over fear, one small, brave step at a time.
Here’s how to begin:
The first step to change is to become self-aware. Start by paying attention to your patterns and triggers without judgment.
Journaling can help you uncover when, where, and why you tend to self-sabotage.
Whenever you feel blocked or stuck, ask yourself:
Self-awareness is a powerful tool. It brings your unconscious behaviors and ways of thinking to the surface, and this is where healing begins.
You cannot live a powerful life with a disempowering inner voice. Start listening to how you speak to yourself. Are your thoughts kind, supportive, and encouraging, or critical and harsh?
Affirmations, mirror work, and compassionate self-talk can begin to shift that inner narrative.
Try replacing:
→ Related Content: 6 Ways to Stop Negative Self-Talk
When fear is loud, purpose helps you stay grounded.
Ask yourself:
Your purpose is your anchor. It gives you the clarity, courage, and conviction to keep going, even when self-doubt creeps in.
You don’t need to have it all figured out. And there is no such thing as the “perfect time.” Start where you are with what you have.
The magic happens in small, consistent action.
Each step builds confidence. Each step shows your subconscious that it’s safe to grow.
Healing and growth are not meant to be solo journeys. Surround yourself with women who uplift and inspire you. Work with a coach who believes in your vision. Join a community where you can be seen, heard, and supported.
Beautiful soul, I want you to know this: Self-sabotage is not who you are. It’s a pattern you’ve learned.
You are not lazy. You are not weak.
You are in the process of becoming your wildest dreams.
You are worthy of a life that lights you up, a life of clarity, fulfillment, and freedom. The kind of life where you rise each day knowing you’re in alignment with your purpose, making a difference, and walking in your truth.
And guess what?
You don’t have to have it all figured out to begin.
You just need the courage to take your next right step.
Take a moment and ask yourself:
👉 What’s one way I’ve been blocking my own growth?
👉 What’s one small step I’m ready to take today to move forward?
Let today be your turning point. Let today be the day you say yes to yourself.
And, if you’re ready to go deeper, I invite you to download my free “How to Discover Your Purpose” workbook, a beautiful guide filled with self-reflection prompts to help you connect with your true calling.
If no one has told you lately: You’ve got this!
I’m cheering you on every step of the way.
— Val 🌸
